final countdown

Baby is due in 8 weeks. I’m nervous about a lot of things- childbirth, money, generally being prepared for an infant…but the most nerve-wracking thing is how my daughter will be raised. Everyone says that when you get choose to get married, you should think about how your potential partner will be as a co-parent. Which I did, I guess. When it comes down to it, though, I’m pretty sure I messed up somewhere.

Our marriage has not been ideal, or even good. He has been consistently oblivious to the problems in our relationship (in a nutshell, we don’t have one- we’re basically roommates). When it comes to child-rearing, though, I’m legitimately scared. He isn’t able to see outside of himself- every opinion that he has or decision that he makes is based on his personal perspective or experience. He has no respect for other people, including me. Education is not important to him; new information has no value in his world.

I don’t want our daughter to be like her father. I don’t want to have to fight him every step of the way. I convinced myself that despite the problems we have (or I guess just I have, they don’t seem to impact him), he would respect my knowledge and experience and opinions when it came to kids. Wrong. Too late. I’m stuck.

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